I have never liked living in reality. Ask my mom; she’d tell you. It’s too bleak, too harsh, and demanding.
Sometimes, I feel like it’s not something I actually have to live in. It’s just something to which I have to pay my dues. I have to do what’s required so that I can live in my own reality, a much happier one.
Tonight, I don’t feel like paying the piper. I’m tired of doing school work. I did that last week. In my best rebellious high-pitched teenager voice, “I don’t want to my paper!”
I’m kind of annoyed at myself because I am failing to do things as well as they ought. I keep waiting for me to attain my ideal self. However, A. I know I’ll never reach it. B. I know that it’s unattainable. C. I fail to exert myself to improve. D. God wants me to rely on Him, not my own power.
Well I’m off to bed and have hopes of quashing those little voices whispering over my shoulder that murmur, “You’re failing… You don’t do what you ought…”