i can imagine an awful lot

After I typed that I realized it’s very similar to a Han Solo quote in the first Star Wars, if not verbatim. But it’s a generic enough sentence and I don’t know if it’s the same, so forgive me for not quoting it.

But I can. I have a great imagination. I can imagine all sorts of things. I live in America in the 21st century, so I have also seen a lot of things and believe that a lot of things are possible. Frankly, I’ve seen some amazing things. So I’m skeptical sometimes.

“God can do amazing things with your life, if you give it to him.” I forget how amazing some things are, and I forget what amazing things have happened.

Right now, God and I are talking about “surrender”. I know that I have my life to God at one time and that periodically, I have given back to Him also, as seems wise to do. In the abstract sense, I get it. Surrender means giving up, giving control to God, having your life hidden in Christ.

Knowing that I do not do that perfectly ever, especially not continuously, I still would like to know more. I want it to be more concrete than abstract in my life. Obviously, I know that it won’t be that concrete all the time, but what I am asking God is what does surrender right now look like practically? How can I do it daily and at the general present?

This is something that I want to do, but I need to know how to precede to the next step. God, would you show me the next step I can take?

I want to surrender and I want God to do amazing things for His glory through my life, and I also want to do and see amazing things in my lifetime.

But I’m kind of afraid to hope for that. I’m afraid that I’ll mess it up, but mostly, I’m afraid that things just won’t be that amazing. Like I said, I can imagine an awful lot. Can God pull out anything that could wow me? Sadly, He really does, but then the wow wears off and then I forget.

Recently, however, as I was discussing all of this with Him, he pointed out that some cool things have happened that I never imagined. These I could never have imagined.

I have a good friend from Saudi Arabia! I never would have guessed this a year ago; I never would have prayed for this. I couldn’t have imagined how we’d meet or become friends, or that we’d actually develop a real friendship. But it happened, and it’s been one of the best things about the past six months.

My former roommate, Kristi. She’s crazy and amazing and one of the biggest spiritual influencers in my life. If you know Kristi, you know how unique and amazing she is. I told her the other day that I could have never imagined a person like her existed before I met her.

One of my current roommates, Brenna. I’ll never know how much she has shaped me in the two and a half years and counting that we’ve known each other. She’s basically been my stand-in family and sibling, as my real family has gotten more spread apart. I never would have imagined when I met her that she’d be one of the most important people for this stage in my life.

My tutoring job. I know that I ramble on and on about it, but it qualifies as an unexpected amazing thing from God. I didn’t know such a job existed a year ago, and I wouldn’t have even thought it’d be something I’d enjoy. It’s been such a good job in a lot of ways and certainly an enjoyable one.

There is definitely some “wow” in God. Way more than I can imagine.

R.

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1 Comment

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One response to “i can imagine an awful lot

  1. dragonmage06

    I don’t think we can ever imagine all the good things that can happen in our lives. Sadly, I think it’s a bit easier to imagine the bad things that could happen.

    Nevertheless, I believe it’s important to keep your eyes open and be aware of the unexpected joys that come around when we may not be looking for them or even realize that we need them.

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