As Sir Arthur Conan Doyle said through his fictional character, Sherlock Holmes, the small things often are the significant things. Take toast, for example. It’s so simple to make that no one bothers to do it well, so it usually turns out badly. And it’s small so it’s excused. Breakfast usually has tea or orange juice that you can use to cough the stuff down.

Toast is rough, though. Even the most sublime piece has to be consumed within 60 seconds of its creation or it’s just not worth the calories (the same is true of waffles). So don’t bother ordering this at a restaurant, unless the cook is willing to let you dash in and rescue the slices as soon as they pop up from the metal slats.

Besides, you can make it at home. Even common sandwich bread can be respectable. Of course, if you’ve got any snazzy bread, your chances of good toast go up ten-fold.

My toast has two non-negotiables.

One, it must have real butter on it. I’m kind of a snob about this. You can’t cheat with butter and not be found out.

Two, the butter must melt; i.e. it has to be hot bread. The toaster where I’m living now has this uncanny ability to produce browned bread that is room temperature. Now I nuke the bread before I toast it, and that usually works.

That’s it. After that, do what you will – jam, jelly, eggs, cut diagonally- whatever. Just be sure to get in a few bites within the critical period of 60 seconds.


1 Comment

Filed under Contingency, Everyday, Explaining things

One response to “toast.

  1. tcm.

    Thank you for the call the other day. It was great to hear your voice! I apologize that I could not talk longer. Maybe you can call me early? Like, when you wake up before you go to work or so? I don’t mind it being early for me, my phone is on all the time! I do hope everything is as you thought it might be, or better. America misses you.

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